


I'm Trying

by navaan



Series: Can't want you [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Community: 10_hurt_comfort, Episode: s03e11 Utopia, Episode: s03e12 The Sound of Drums, Ficlet, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-03
Updated: 2010-11-03
Packaged: 2017-10-13 03:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack thinks he is hurting the Doctor, while the Doctor is trying hard to overcome his own problems with Jack's presence</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Trying

**Author's Note:**

> Can be read as stand alone or short follow up to my story [**Can't want you**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/131647)
> 
>  **Challenge:** 10_hurt_comfort  
>  **Prompt Used: Pain  
> **

Jack is beginning to think that he would have been better off staying angry at the Doctor.

He had been angry for years after his lover had abandoned him. It isn't any easier now that he has an explanation for what happened, though. He had been abandoned because his existence was constantly hurting the man he loved – and still is. How did you deal with that?

„You're not hurting me, Jack,“ the Doctor whispers. Martha is asleep on the other side of the room. On the floor of an empty warehouse somewhere in London.

They're fugitives now, the three of them. He can't reach his team, doesn't know what has happened to any of them. And here he is: trying to make his lover have a talk. Are they even still lovers? They did share a kiss before all hell broke loose. They still have feelings for each other. But are they lovers? What had they been before he had been left behind? And what _can_ they be now?

„It's a lot more complex then pain, I suppose,“ the Doctor picks up the conversation again. “You are something that goes against all my instincts.”

“I make you sick,” Jack concludes in a whisper.

The Doctor doesn't contradict him. He just rubs at his jaw, nervously looking from Jack to the sleeping girl. Martha doesn't know what has been going on between them, and after all that has happened Jack understands why the Doctor is reluctant to tell her. She is in love with the man and although he hurts her all the time without noticing, he doesn't _want_ to hurt her by springing this on her.

“I feel a little queasy around you, yes,” he finally admits, then takes a moment to think. “But that is more like the result of a constant headache...”

“So, I'm a constant headache?” Jack asks sharply. The Doctor's explanations don't really help him feel better.

“No. You are you. The problem is completely mine.” He turns away. “It's just, my senses are in an uproar around you. It makes me feel dizzy and weak. It doesn't physically hurt. It's more like an emotion. A dull pain. I can deal with that. Your dying and coming back to life is what is really hard on me actually...” He stops talking to think and Jack isn't even sure if he wants him to go on explaining. “But it is getting better. The constant buzz, I mean. I'm probably getting used to it. That's good, right?”

“I hope so.” He knows they should really be spending their time in a more constructive way. The Doctor is already forming a plan to stop the Master, and they should be working on that. But he couldn't get himself to point it out. He needs to know this.

With a sudden movement, as if he had finally come to a decision, the Doctor gets up to come over and sit down directly beside him. Jack looks at him questioningly, but the Doctor just leans forward to brush a soft kiss against his lips. It is over in the blink of an eye and the Time Lord leans against his shoulder an expression of concentration on his face. “What are you doing?” he asks carefully wrapping an arm around the man.

“I'm trying,” the Doctor explained. “I want to be with you again. So I have to learn to accept this.”

Jack wants to smile, doesn't know if it's appropriate. “I don't want to hurt you.”

“You're not really hurting me, Jack. This is only so very rare that my senses don't know what to do about it. I'll get used to it. At least I can try. Okay?” He peers up at Jack. “And as Martha has the blanket we can just as well share some warmth.” Jack knows the Time Lord doesn't need the warmth.

And that thought finally brings an honest smile to his lips. He is feeling better already.

They can work this out. And tomorrow they can figure out a way to deal with the Master...


End file.
